I've debated even posting this, but here goes.

As known to readers of my blog, I shut up for a month.  Shut everything down for some time of reflection.

To say the last month has been interesting and lively would be a vast understatement.   To say that the things that have happened over this past month is just me being me, would be just as irresponsible as me saying that I had no part in it.  I've had to take a complete inventory of my life and where I was going to go in relation to friends and church.  Had some friends really betray us.  Had some friends hurt us.  Realized some friends, probably weren't friends. 

Realized I probably need to see a counselor.  I'm not sure what I'd be diagnosed with, but my extreme reactions to things can't always be the right reaction.  Realized I may never be able to fully participate in a church setting.  I don't deal well with dysfunction, and churches by their design are full of dysfunctional people (raising hand).  Trying to teach myself to be as much of a participator in church as I can be, while not getting so far in that the cycle starts again.

In the end I know God is good.  God created me as I am for a reason.  I'm just searching for that reason, and it may be something I don't fully realize on this side of Heaven. 

Now a side rant.  To say I'm on the dark side of my faith right now would be a correct statement.  What I don't get is how when people go through this... people abandon them.  People call it sin.  If you're not happy and joyful, your sinning.  Do people not read the book of Psalms?  Christianity does not equal pure joy.  Christianity equals being real with yourself and others and most importantly God.  We do a great disservice when we don't allow, support, follow, people as they go into these dark spots of faith.  Reminds me of a situation I once found myself in.  A friend of mine was going through severe depression.  So this friend was kind of mean. Some of the people around us came to me and asked me what was up.  I gave my opinion of it, and told them they needed to support this person... not condemn them.  The reply I got back was, "Well it doesn't give them a right to be mean."  Was honestly floored at that reply.  I just told them the person had a severe illness and needed support and love, only to be told that they needed to repent.  Thankfully the person that said that to me had a history of avoiding confrontation and never did talk to the 'offending' person.  Would have hated to see what would have come of that.

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
       he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
       forever.

I'm going to mimic much of this post from one year ago today.

2 Years
24 Months
104 Weeks
731 Days (Leap Year)
17544 Hours
10526040 Minutes
63158400 Seconds

Today marks two years since our adoption of Collin has been finalized.

Just as I was last year, I am still amazed at the work of God that this process ended up being. 

Collin is still that bundle of joy when I walk in the door.  Always sure to give me the biggest hug possible when I walk in.  Though his growing older is starting to have other effects.

1. My wife's continuous desire to have a baby in the house is coming back.
2. When babies are around he gets jealous!
3. He wants to go to school so bad with his older brothers and sisters.

It still amazes me how much he adds to our family.  We had no idea what our family was lacking until it wasn't lacking anymore. 

I'll end this post with a comment I've made several times on this blog, and even in the post on this topic one year ago... I would recommend that any able bodied Christian adopt a child. 

When I took a trip to the Cincinnati Church of Christ on Sunday there was something that weighed on my mind a bit.

Church loyalty.

Two of the three Elders appointed exemplify what it means to be loyal to a church.  Each of them have been members at that church for 20 + years.  Through some very bad times.  Times that I've never faced in a church setting, but there they sit still faithful members of that church.

I shared emails with one of the two, as he emailed me and thanked me for my kind words to him and thanked me for coming.  So I did offer some more personal praise his way and told him I admired his loyalty to his church.

Me on the other hand... it would be a fair criticism to say I am a 'church hopper'.   6.5 years at the CCoC, 2.5 years at our second church, and we are pushing 2 years at our current church.  While I stand by my decision to leave the two churches I've left, I'd be silly to say that it had nothing to do with mistakes or sin on my part.  I know I'm a difficult church member. 

I readily admit that staying loyal to a church is hard for me.  Being critical is easy for me.  I've not yet been able to strike that balance.  I'm not sure how to strike that balance.  Where do you strike the balance between accepting unhealthy behavior for the greater good, and calling out bad things in the church because God expects more? 

It is really a burden I wish I knew how to handle.  Because without figuring that out, there will be a time when there is no new church to hop to.

Well I know this will get a blog reader all riled up.

Roland is my most active commenter, but he's like that crazy relative I try to keep hidden.  So here is your spot light Roland...

I declare victory!  Now understand I am typing this message on August 2nd, no idea WHEN I will post it on the blog... but 'recently'  we had a LONG discussion about various aspects of Christianity.  From its history to its application, well I win!

You're warned... it was a LONG and WORDY debate.

Now I know what will happen next.  Roland will respond with no less than six post longer than our entire debate :-0

This is a long post, but its been a long week. The bottom part of this post is pretty interesting.

This week started out BAD.  Hurricane Ike decided to visit the city of Cincinnati and take all of our electricity with it.

90+% of the homes in the city were without power starting Sunday at 2PM.  We were one of them.  Took the opportunity to get some pretty cool pictures though.  Here they are on PhotoBucket, though I may not keep them there long.

The wind was unbelievable for a midwest city.  Tree's fell everywhere, siding on houses took a little journey.  It was a down right mess.  We finally got power back after 26 hours, to have power in for 24 to only lose it again for another 4.  Though things seem stable now.

So that was my Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.  Though on Tuesday our adoption stuff took another step forward as several of us had our physicals.  Wednesday was a down day.  I was wore out. 

Thursday I ended up doing some yard work when I got home.  Borrowed a chain saw and cleaned up some wood we had piled up from tree trimming in June.  While I was doing this, my wife was taking her final class for the adoption.  Now all we have left is some home visits and our CPR/First Aid stuff. 

Then came Friday night.  Let me say this.  I am starting to love our small group.  We started late due to the city of Bethel being closed down due to home coming.  But after much frustration we finally made it.  We had a prepared lesson given to us by my church, and I was prepared to give it a shot.... God had other plans.

As I mentioned last week I plan on starting each week of with some 'ice breaker' questions from a bowl.  Our two questions were:

1. If money was no object and you knew you wouldn't fail, what would you do?

Women were way more spiritual than the guys on this overall.  One guy said he'd walk on the moon :-).

I said that I'd plant a church. 

What about you?

2. What are your thoughts on God and religion.  Read that question and I knew the night was over.  This was where we were going to camp out for the rest of our night, and we did.  Was some very good discussion.  Then near the end of this discussion I asked a question on the fly to follow up with it.

3. Give an example of when you felt God in your life.

Again, more great discussion. 

But this small group has more of a 'bonding' feeling to it than any small group I've been in for many years.

Then came Saturday, woke up and did our men's breakfast.  The conversation wasn't as good as last week, but it was still pretty good.  I do love the book, What God Does When Men Lead. 

Now another thing I had started doing earlier in the week was working out a plan to sell our dog.  We are just not a big dog family.  The dog was just way to big for the amount of time we could devote to him.  So I scheduled a meeting with a lady at 1PM on Saturday.  At 1:25PM I went home... with the dog.  She no showed.  So I started doing some quick actions and found out that the place we bought our dog was in the area at a pet show.  We called them up and asked if they'd swap dogs with us... the big dog just wasn't working out.  They said yes, so now we have a little dog.  So far so good.

Then about 8:30PM got a call about some furniture that needed moved from Bethel to Batavia, and they asked if I knew anybody who had a truck.  I didn't, but I then thought about how our van was empty due to the dog stuff and offered to come get it right then and there... so I did.  Fit very well in my van.

Finally made it home in time to keep my promise to my children.  Started a fire in our fire pit and had some smores. Yummy!

Now another thing happened on Saturday which lead to a very interesting Sunday for me.  I happened to look at the web site for my first church and saw that they were appointing Elders.  Now there is a man in this church that I deeply respect and was pretty sure he was going to be one of them.  So I made a few calls and confirmed.  So Sunday morning my oldest son and I took a trip to the Cincinnati Church of Christ.  First time we'd been there in four years. 

Was a bit worried going there, was unsure of the reaction I'd get.  But I am pleased to report that it was very welcoming. Saw a bunch of old friends.  We left the CCoC on OK terms.  It was just the right decision to make at the time

After 10 or so minutes of hanging out and talking to people it was time for service to start.  Very familiar songs from our time there.  One thing I enjoyed from our time there was some of the singers they have.  Was always a talented group of people there. Then after a few more church things, they got onto the appointment of the Elders.  They were actually appointing three of them in a bit of an odd situation.  In churches the 'evangelist' seems to appoint the first Elders.  So the 'evangelist' appointed Tom Meade and Joe Dilts as Elders, then they turned around and appointed him as one.  I have no interaction with the third one, as he was hired well after we left.  The first two however are very deserving.  I know Joe much better than I do Tom, though my family still had interaction with with the Meade's.  They have learned through the fire of life on how to lead a family.  One thing I liked about Tom's 'acceptance speech' was how he admitted that he will screw up and he will probably hurt some of the people in attendance.  He, after all, is human.

Then comes Joe.  The Dilt's family hold's a special place in my heart.  If my family can be half the family of his, I will feel like a success.  When my wife and I were 19 and 20 years old in the Cincinnati Church of Christ they treated us like the adults we were, where as others had a hard time seeing us past one of their children's friends. 

There is a lot of debate in the Christian faith about what is required to be an Elder.  Some say the list of qualifications are just suggestions, other see them as a list of requirements.  Joe Dilt's is an Elder regardless.  I've said for a long time, in life I've only met a few people that are the prototypical Elder.  Joe is one of them. 

I remember when my family first came to the CCoC.  Joe, Tom and a third fellow were Elders in training.  Basically the ICOC's way of controlling elders.  But then things went south and that was put out of mind.  Now Tom and Joe still were great leaders in the church, but not official elders. So they got training by fire over the last 11 years, and the fact that they are still leaders in that church are a testament to their qualifications to be in that role.

Was a historic moment in the history of the Cincinnati Church of Christ. 

Symbolically posted at the time of the first plan hitting. Will leave personal comments out of it

I've been pretty direct in this blog about how I feel that men should lead the way in the church.  And in a lot of ways there is a revival in the American church to reach the men because they are largely absent from church.

Which means they are largely absent from God.

Which makes it no surprise that they are largely absent from the family. 

Guys and gals are different, but unfortunately churches are made for the gals.   From the kind of music to the banter on how they need to open up (and don't get me wrong, there is a need for that... but the emphasis on it deters many men).

The differences between men and women remind me of an incident I was in several years ago.  I was playing basketball back when I was a bit thinner and had a quicker step.  I drove past a guy, pretty much embarrassed him... while up for the lay-up I feel two hands push me in the back!  I made the lay-up, turned around and looked at the guy and said; "Don't EVER do that again.  I got past you and beat you to the basket, this game is not that important."  I walked past him ready to continue playing and another guy said, "That's why I'm glad we're men, a bunch of women would have made a big ole episode about that." But for us it was nothing more then a moment where the expectation was set and we moved on. 

In the American church you can't do that.  It is, well lets talk about why you feel that way.  I need to understand.... etc, etc, etc...

But I am unequivocally convinced, you win the guy you win the family.  You win the family you win the city.  You win the city, you win the state. You win the state you win the country.  You win the country you win the world.

You lose the man?  Just take a look at America today.

Well just a few days ago I posted about how my wife and I have celebrated our 11th anniversary.  Well what brought that on was a religious conversion.  We were non-Christians.  We were living together, we had a six month old son. 

Then the Cincinnati Church of Christ had some members come and invite us to church and then change our life's.  11 Years ago almost to the minute of this post we were baptized (stock photo by the way, not me). Some of the night is fading away from memory, though I still remember Pete calling me by my son's name... which ironically still happens to this day at my current church. 

But 11 years ago our life changed forever, and looking back on it now... I AM SO GLAD IT DID!  I couldn't imagine life without this change.  Well unfortunately I can.

My wife and I wouldn't be together.  I was highly immature and had a serious anger problem.  It would have only been so long until she would have had enough.  So my children would be another part of the statistic of living in a broken home.

I'd be struggling with employment in this non-manufacturing economy.

And worst of all... I'd probably be supporting Obama! THANK YOU JESUS! 

One day I will share the story of this period in my life.  So many God moments involved with it.

Well I stumbled across something on another blog and I'm stealing it.  With permission :-)

It has been called 40 days of focus.  Basically commit to doing things for 40 days.  Now when I saw this I had the idea that inviting some men from my church into the fold to go through this with me would be a great idea, so the invite went out to a few select men and here we are.

In August I will be involved in starting a new small group in Bethel and there are three of us guys (the fourth guy is a maybe for the small group) who for the 40 days leading up to the group launch will focus on our spiritual lives. 

Tom C, Scott W, Matt K, and myself have laid out our own goals and we will be moving forward with them.  I will post personal updates here daily, and on occasion will update you on the status of the other guys.  Plus I will encourage them to make comments on each thread as well.

From July 7th until August 15th we will be in focus.  I am really stoked about what I know God will do during this time.  I am scared about what I know the devil will do during this time.

So what are my goals?

• To read the New Testament.  ALL OF IT.  That equates to 6.5 chapters a day, so on dates that are odd I will read 7 chapters on dates that are even I will read 6. 
• To pray daily AND log my prayers. Sometimes we overlook our answered prayers.
• To wake up at 6 AM.  I am very inconsistent on my wake up time, six am gives me some time to do some of my list.
• To play with my kids when I get home.  Before I do anything else to see if they are clinging for my attention, and give it to them.
• To love my wife more.  She deserves it.

I could add more, but maybe that will happen after this 40 days.  As I could easily see this taking on a life of its own.

However I will also lay out one soft goal.  Things I'm just not sure if I can do it due to time, but we will see.

• Walk the dog (and thus walk myself) every night.

If you are a reader of this blog, are you up for the challenge?  If so grab a friend or two (or you can just do it yourself) and DO IT.

One more note to make, due to the nature of this challenge my blog will be silent of other things unless the other things warrant a double post. 

HT: Josh Young
HT: Aron

Post 1: History of the Restoration Movement and the ICOC
Post 2: History of the Cincinnati church of Christ

Now its time to talk about my time in the Cincinnati Church of Christ.

Highs and lows to be sure.

My ICOC history started in July of 1997.  My girlfriend and our child were living in an apartment complex in Amelia.  We had talked about going to church 'for the child'... but never acted on it.  Then I was on first shift for two short weeks. Three men came knocking on our door and invited us to church, I wasn't home at the time... I had ran up to pay the rent.  When I returned my wife, who had planned on blowing it off, told me about them so I stepped outside and found them and talked to them about church, you know, 'for the child.'

They invited us to a local Bible study in the area and through that process our life was changed forever.  The ICOC didn't mess around with sin, and we were living in sin.  They took us through a study series called 'First Principles' and challenged us to get married. [Side Note: During this time I got to know a bunch of good folks, many of which are still very faithful and living a deeply committed Christian life.]  We dropped off their radar, they thought we just weren't interested in that church stuff.  Called them a few weeks later and let them know that we were married!  Six days later, we were baptized.

The first year or two at the CCoC was a very up and down process.  The small group we were in was GREAT.  Just excellent.  But the discipling partners (basically mentors) we had were bad, just awful.  And really for a lot of our time at the CCoC this process continued.

We'd have great small group experiences, but the discipling partner thing was awful.  The men were apathetic and seem aloof.  The women were just mean and nasty toward my wife, and the ones that weren't were just apathetic like their husband. 

But our first small group is likely the reason we are still faithful.  There were some people in that group that still mean a lot to my family.  Then we were moved onto another small group, and this was a lot like the previous one but had a new dynamic to it.  The leader and of this group was basically serving as an Elder of the church.  They were the first people to really treat us like adults and not like the 19/20 year olds we were... we had two children by this time. Their family still means the world to me.  Just a great couple with three great children.  But in this group we had a very apathetic discipling partner. 

Eventually they shook things up again and we were in a new small group.  This one started off really bad.  Didn't much care for most of the people in it!  But the way the CCoC worked is that you are told where you are going to go.  But looking back now, several people in that group are some of my deepest friendships today.  Including one couple that we used to hate (and the feeling was mutual).  Couldn't stand them, and they couldn't stand us.  We fought through a lot of growth issues in this group and in the end things were really great.  But the leaders of this group needed to take a break.

Then we were moved to a group in Milford and this little section of the church had gone through some things over the years (including one of their members committing suicide).  Things were OK there, but there were some unhealthy dynamics in this group of people... however change was a coming.  Many new families (including my family) moved into the area and a place that barely had one group, had issues with the amount of people in the area.  About this time the couple leading this group had some serious church/family issues that led to them leaving the CCoC.  I think another long term couple in the area put it best... they were strangers in their own city and they didn't even move!  At this time the staff member over this part of the city decided to really shake it up. He decided to put a couple in the area as sort of a sector leader, and then put my wife and I over one group and the other couple (that at one point, and even a bit at this point) in charge of the two groups that would be in this area. 

This is when I ended up leading my first small group.  Two 21/22 year olds leading a bunch of 40+ year olds, with a few people near our life situation (married with young children).  This was some growing period for us.  Overall we did a very good job.  Had some bumps, but we formed our small group to a pretty healthy point (after a few adjustments with a few couples that didn't want to be led by a bunch of kids).  But the other group didn't fair so well, the couple in charge there just weren't ready AND some life situations sunk them a bit.  Plus the sector couple started having their own life issues.  So it left my wife and I in charge of much of this group of people.  Most were on board, some weren't.  Then more people moved in and another small group (which is actually still going on) formed.  This was likely the highest point of our membership at the CCoC... then all hell broke loose. 

The ICOC started to crumble and so a big part of our small group, sort of.  Our good friends that had been with us since we first started leading went through a divorce.  And frankly the wife said some pretty blatant lies to others about my wife and us.  Then our best friends at the time relocated to South Bend, Indiana.  We still had some good friends left in our small group... but even with that, it wasn't the same.  Plus the CCoC made a decision that I think cemented the fact that it was time for us to move on.

They wanted to hire a youth minister, and one of their requirements was that the person was a member of a former ICOC church.  It was at that point that I knew they'd always be more like a ICOC church than a 'normal' church.  So we left. Our leaving was honestly received very well.  I have always been an out spoken person, so they knew where I stood and WHY we needed to leave. 

So we left the CCoC for a smaller church in the Milford area.... but I won't go into that ;-).

Overall our time at the CCoC has made us a lot of who we are today.  I got my start in the IT industry by working for a CCoC member.  I became much of who I am today by several of the men I was around in that church.  It was because of the CCoC that my wife and I were married and were converted to Christianity. 

Our time at the CCoC was not all positive, but nothing ever is.  It was exactly where God wanted us to be while we were there.  I will be eternally grateful for our time at this church.